The 5 Biggest Mistakes I Notice as a Literary Competition Judge

For the second year in a row, I've submitted my novel to a Literary Competition.

The beauty of it is that, as a participant, I also get to be a judge.

As I've reviewed one chapter a day, I couldn’t help but notice some patterns.

Repeating. Over and over.

Today I’m sharing my insights and everything that I’ve noticed as a judge reviewing writers’ first chapters of their novels.

1. Genre, genre, genre.

The most exciting moment about receiving anonymous chapters is wondering about what kind of stories I’ll be reading about.

There’s something quite amazing about being the first to judge an unpublished novel.

So, I log in my portal and find a dozen of files.

I open the first one.

Genre: Thriller & Mystery.

Okay.

It’s not like I’m not a fan of the genre (on the contrary, I’m capable of reading a 700-page thriller in a weekend, just to find out whodunnit).

But I remember how it went last year: the majority of the chapters were classified into this genre.
And how can I blame these writers? In Italy the only things you hear about are murders and how your neighbours could turn into your murderer.

I open the second file.

Genre: Thriller & Mystery.

Then the third… eleventh, twelfth…

Genre? Thriller & Mystery.

All those first chapters are Thriller & Mystery.

Shit. I submitted an historical novel.

Was I wrong?
Did I miss that this year was only open to Thriller & Mystery?
I rush to check the Competition Rules.

It’s open to ALL genres - Phew!

Then, why 12 Thriller and Mysteries?

The more I get to read, the more the answer is right in front of my eyes.

The thing is: participants seem to choose the thriller genre cause it seems easy: there’s a murder and the main character needs to find out who did it.

The truth is: thriller is not as easy. It requires: a solid structure,
a main character we root for and strong tension at each chapter.

It’s not really a piece of cake.

What I get to read: confused stories of troubled main characters, and some random murder that get committed at random times.

Let me be clearer with a few key examples:

👉 No immediate, tangible threat or high stakes.
Unlike thrillers that hook with a murder scene or chase, these chapters start with routine or emotional moments, like colleagues chatting over soup after work, or villagers gossiping in a church or a shower routine.

Thriller fix: Open with the crime itself (e.g., discovering a body with a cryptic note) or a direct confrontation (e.g., protagonist chased by an unseen figure), establishing life-or-death urgency within the first paragraph.


👉 Slow pacing dominated by descriptions and digressions.
Pages drag with detailed backstories or side details, e.g., micromovements like every step in a boutique or shower routine, or extended neighborhood sketches instead of propelling the plot.

Thriller fix: Use shorter description. If you want to introduce your characters, do it by catching them in action. You don’t always need to interrupt the flow to introduce a new character. Try to build rapid momentum, ending scenes on cliffhangers.


👉 Fragmented structure without clear thriller momentum.
Often the “thriller” is just an excuse to talk about troubled characters. For example, the main focus in on a alcoholist character while investigations become mere framing.

Thriller fix: Show how personal flaws like alcoholism are immediate obstacles to the core goal (advancing the case). Than interconnect them, so the investigation and personal struggle proceed together, raising stakes mutually.

What I sense from these chapters is that most writers seem to think they’re in the position of breaking the rules without actually knowing them.

They choose the Thriller cause they think they can catch readers’ attention with a murder when they’re actually talking about something else entirely.

And it takes courage (and a lot of work) to write a book about someone, without relying on the “easyiness and catchiness” of a murder.

Please, always think about what you really want to be writing about, not what you think you can disguise in a detective-murder storyline!

Whatever genre you pick, stick to it, explore it to its deepest core.

And when it comes to break the rules…

You can never break a rule, without knowing what that rule is – especially when it comes to genre.

2. First-Person Narrative

90% of the chapters I’ve read are written in the first-person.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with it per se. But like everything: there’s always a side effect.

Using the first-person narrative, can highly reduce the perspective. This can lead to a claustrophobic experience, especially when it comes to non-sympathetic characters that the audience is stuck with for the entire book.

Let’s take a very famous example of a novel written in the first-person: The Great Gatsby.

The novel is narrated by Nick, a character of the story, but the main character is actually Jay Gatsby.

Nick is a character, but most of all, he’s the narrator. This means that often we get his point of view, sure. But it also means that the story is not restricted to him only.

He doesn’t talk about himself all the time!
He doesn’t take us to his inner world for the entire novel!!

He takes us on a journey, through his limited point of view, sure. But he definitely tells a bigger story.

That’s the difference between a first-person narrator who limits the story around himself only and a character that still serves the role of a narrator.

What I’ve noticed more is this implicit use of the private diary. It seems to be that most times, writers think they can actually copy-paste what they’ve written in their personal diaries and tinge them with some sort of undefined plot.

And this is a real mistake.

Now, let's analyze the the difference between reading someone's personal diary and reading it in a novel.

👉 Imagine finding the diary of someone you know (a mother, a spouse, a friend): you immediately get access to their intimate thoughts, but you don’t actually need backstory or contextualization.
And if you even find out events you didn’t know about, well...that's some prohibited fun.

👉 Now, imagine reading the diary at the beginning of a novel (often without even the "Dear Diary" formula). You don’t know the person. You still need characters’ descriptions and contextualization. You have no idea what's going on cause...

...You need to understand who these people are.

The writer cannot just throw the audience inside someone deepest thoughts, without even a bit of story or context.

Which brings me to the next point…

3. Nothing Happens!

Writing a novel is usually a great device to explore themes, to analyse deeper meanings of life, relationship. And that’s great.

But it needs to be done throughout the story.

What I notice in most first-time writers is the complete sacrifice of plot to mere thoughts, philosophications and aforisms. And for how much some of those punchy existential sentences may be even interesting, they cannot replace the game of plot.

The universal ever green formula of a character with a goal and a need CANNOT BE replaced.

I found myself reading pages and pages of thoughts, with some character’s names here and there.

And no reference to any fact or event.

Not even a glass falling down and breaking into a hundred pieces.

If you're writing a story and you're wondering whether something interesting ever happens, the best way to find out is writing a Logline.

4. The little that happens gets told (not shown)

Yes I’m stepping into the very dangerous territory of “Show, don’t tell” rule.
And let me get very clear with what I mean here.

I’ve come across some very interesting plot lines here and there.

The problem was: they were told in a less interesting way than my grocery list (I’m Italian, when it comes to food, a lot of excitement is involved).

(Disclaimer: to protect the author’s story, the example provided here is one I created, inspired by what I read.)

Let me give you a little backstory of a story.

Let's say the main character needs to find out who killed someone through a journalistic investigation, while finding out how her parents are actually involved (from something that happened in the past).

Great, this is a very intriguing storyline.

Let's also say that we get to know that her parents were migrants from France to a little Italian village in Sicily, they had active music fans of Rock in the 60s, they actually met and fell in love at a concert.

A very cool story that could totally be material for a This is Us episode.

The problem? These stories were randomly told by the first-person narrator who, in order to give some backstory about where she comes from, happened to drop this bomb on us.

She didn’t show us any of it. Let's analyze an exerpt:

How the author did it:

“My parents were those kind of people who met at a Beatles concert. They realized they belonged to each other and soon realized they couldn’t let a little girl grow in the outskirts of Paris. When they found out there was a perfect little village in the Italian countryside, not far from Palermo they knew they had to do that sacrifice”.

Okay, maybe this part is even nice to read.

However, imagine it going on and on and on for ten pages.

The author is actually interrupting the current events, the now-narration, the contemporary life of this woman, to take a break and, out of nowwhere, tell the story of her parents for ten pages!

Why? Because we're probably to need this information later.

Now. Let's take the same content (the story of her parents) and actually show it unfold, as in a parallel narration.

How it could be written:

“London, 1962”
Her arms were waving in the air, following the rhythm of the music. She didn’t even notice, when his fingers crossed with hers. Then a look. They were not strangers, anymore”

This is a very easy way to show the parents’ first encounter without having the main character “tell it” just because we need it.

In this way, every new finding the main character may do in the present, is always related to her parents in the past.

Past and present storylines evolve together and are interconnected.

The past storyline becomes an active part of the narration, instead of being the flow-interruptor that is now.

⚠️ Warning: there’s nothing wrong in “telling something”. If you’re writing a novel and you want to tell how your main character parents met, please go head.

You don’t need flashbacks or parallel storylines everytime you want to tell a piece of backstory.

But do not take entire pages to tell about it. A couple of sentences can do it.

But if you’re interrupting the flow to give us information that we may need later (and that are related to the plot), think of a way to show it, while still bringing the story forward.

5. It’s just… boring!!!

I know I may sound a little arrogant here. Cause you may argue: “Lisa, every person’s taste is different”.

And you’re right.

But you can’t forget that readers, publishers, editors are still people.

This means: there are a few human general rules you should follow.

Now, again. You should know that in Italy (besides serial killers and murders) the other main interest is X Factor.

(And don’t get me wrong: I love X factor. I used to watch all the finals on the big bed with my mum and tons of junk food. I’m the kind of person who opens Youtube and types: “Best X Factor auditions of all time”.)

I’m also a singer. I know something about music.

And what I know is: music is supposed to be sung, listened to and danced.

It’s something that has to do with a lot of other senses than just the sight.

Music is not supposed to be just read.

There’s why, if you decide to base your entire novel over a main character who goes to X Factor, it may be the wrong medium to tell this story.

And unless you really manage to bring the character forward, and the Tv Contest on the background, this piece is bound to be boring.

Same thing with all novels set in bureaucratic offices: unless you give me some very good insight of the environment, you make is “fun” with your way of analyzing, criticizing it, I’m sorry, but an entire book set inside the tax office of a bureaucrat who stares at tax papers, is not going to involve me.

Luckily, the world is filled with stories of apparently “foreign” or “boring” environment that are transformed into the most appealing Tv Series of all times.

Think of the hundreds of stories set in environments like hospitals, lawyers’ office, schools, even war fields.

Why do they work?

Because they’re character-driven. We fall in love with the characters, their way of thinking, of acting, of navigating through the circumstances.

Please, do not take me to a tax accountant office if it’s meant to be more excruciating than my actual tax yearly meeting.

Conclusions

Please remember that these mistakes do not absolutely come from lack of talent.

It just means you’re human and you’re trying.

It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or you shouldn’t be a writer.

I’d never tell this to anyone.

(Not even those participants who can’t get to write “she” instead of “he” everytime they’re talking about a woman!! Okay, maybe with those people I wouldn’t actually show any mercy).

If you’ve written a first-chapter and would love a deep analysis from me: please SUBMIT IT HERE.

I’ll get back to you with all my insights, with love.

Lisa ❤︎